And I Died

Lying on the bed I was not feeling comfortable. It seems everything was not right with me. Probably I forgot how it felt to have a very high fever, as I was suffered by one after a long time. Found it hard to breath and a strange pain was gradually increasing in chest.

My wife was calling me for Dinner. Noble lady, she took great care of me. She had especially cooked some dalia for me. Insisted a lot for going for a checkup but I managed to postpone the visit till tomorrow morning. I never liked visiting Docs. Really a nice lady, never pushed me for anything which I don’t like.

I dragged myself till dinning table, she felt my temperature by touching my forehead and got worried but I managed to smile and put rest to her anxiety.

Moments later, looking at table , I wonder, Why does she served dalia in such a big bowl and had also given me a serving spoon to eat. How in the world could somebody eat with such a big spoon from a bowl of a size of a tub. Amazed I looked towards my wife, but could not see her clearly. Felt as if she is sitting very far in front of a very bright light and busy in her dinner. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open towards the flash of light which was increasingly become more and more brighter. For a moment I tried to think, what is happening, but my thoughts were obstructed by an increasing chest pain and uneasiness. Suddenly pain overshoot and my eyes roll back, muscles of my arms and legs contract and my hands got twisted. My wife tried to get hold of me.

I quiver for few seconds and felt released. It all happened very quickly.

I could see her shouting for help. All other family members come in no time. They put my body in the car and drove towards hospital. Feeling less and aw struck, I followed them to the hospital.

I could see, in hurry to take me into the emergency room my body was being hit by the pole in the way, but I didn’t feel any pain. Doctors were quick to respond and gave electric shocks to my body, I didn’t feel anything my body also did not give them any hope.

A receipt of being bought dead was issued to my family members. They put my body back into the car.

(but I saw a relief on doctor’s face who was going to end his duty, thinking that fortunately it didn’t complicates otherwise he would have missed his cricket match today )

Thinking, if doctor’s reaction was a selfish thing or the beautiful aspect of life that it doesn’t stops for anyone, I come back home.

Now I had started realizing that probably the ultimate has happened to me. But I am still here, I could see everything, may be there is still chance.....

For a moment I feel hopeful, what would happen, If I get my life back, may be I could take care of my wife, she needs me, May be I could help my youngest son in his career, he is not settled as yet, may be I could play more with my grand children, they love me so much.

Life is precious, For the first time this thought struck me.

But can I do something. I wonder where is god, why no body came from outer world to take me. To whom should I plead. The person who have always had a solution for a problem is now helpless, no solution...

Ah, people cry so much, Its so noisy here, I need a quiet place to think, let’s go to the terrace. Oh ! My youngest son is here, his friend is consoling him, Poor child would be feeling so helpless. But hey, what are they talking about, They are planning to start a new business out of my insurance money. I am dumbstruck, again faced with the same question, if it is selfishness or beauty of life..... ?

Now they are making arrangements for my last journey. Do I still have a chance.....?

Rituals are tiring, for the all the people, but for the first time I am engrossed in them.

In cremation ground’s Priest is a very professional one, he is doing everything very mechanically, and hey he is also compromising few processes for the sake of comfort ability of my elder son. He is being paid handsomely.

Selfishness or beauty....

Now they are going to lit fire to my body, Do I still have a chance ...?

Ah I could see my body burning I feel no pain but I want to cry, this is my body, my body which served me for life. I am loosing my drape. I want to cry

But look around you fool, there are so many like me, who are witnessing their last rites.

Now my relatives are in hurry, they want to go back home to catch up with their life.

Selfishness or beauty.....

Now the feeling is sinking in, I am not going to get back to life. I do not go back with my people & stay back with my pyre.

Now I am experiencing no fear but wondering when will I see the god, is there actually a one ?

I am still worried about my wife. How will she manage...?

Days went by & I saw, she has started her home business & joined a group of new friends. Tomorrow she is going for a world tour with her friends, something which she always wanted but could not go earlier, because of my disinterest.

Selfishness or ........... ?

Indeed a beauty, life stops for no one, People move on after every moment, after every crisis.

I realized, I had played my part in the drama, story moves on.

And I died, I am at peace now, unexplainable feeling, may be I am becoming one with the God......